Amanda's Writing

23. Oct, 2019

Ghost of Me can be pre-ordered now in paperback or Kindle from Amazon

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Also available to pre-order in e-book from Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo and 24symbols.










25. Jul, 2019

Exclusive extracts of my novel, which will be released in March 2020


I never imagined my own death. Why would I? I was thirty-six years old. I had years left, or so I thought. I changed my mind about that when I woke up in the morgue. The dead body…my dead body laid out in front of me, provided a good indication that I no longer needed to draw breath. My eyes were open, and I could almost imagine I was staring at myself. Yet I struggled to look away from the shell I used to inhabit. My eyes wandered from my bruised face to the red mark on my neck, as if I was punched and strangled.

I closed my eyes. Maybe this would be gone when I opened them again. I’d have a laugh at the weird dream I had about being beside myself in the morgue. A brief memory popped into my head, hands gripping my arms, then the image faded. I opened my eyes to find my corpse wasn’t gone though. It seemed to be taunting me for thinking I could make it not real.

“Did somebody do this to me?” I asked my dead self, only to receive no response. She just laid still. I wondered if all dead people looked like…well…like they had been scared to death I suppose.

I watched enough crime shows to recognise the signs of a murder. I recalled those same crime shows. Copying what they did seemed like my best option. The first step was to examine the victim. I took a deep breath, although no air went in or out of my body, but the action remained the same. I twisted my head from side to side. I stretched my arms like someone preparing for a boxing match or an intense workout session might do. It helped to imagine I was looking for clues about what happened to a fictitious character. If I stopped to dwell on the reality of my death, I might have panicked. It also helped to have no recollection of the circumstances leading up to my death

24. Jul, 2019

I walked through the bedroom wall, no longer freaked out by the action. My mind was focussed on getting to the garage. I was prepared to walk through all the doors and walls I needed to in order to reach my destination.

I stood staring at the car, which resembled the same rust bucket I only saw a few times after Paul purchased it. It seemed obvious, even to me that he never worked on it. If anything, the car was in a worse state than the day he bought it. He deceived me, buying this thing, possibly as an alibi while he went out murdering women. I hadn’t been the first. Had he been killing for the whole year, or longer and just decided he needed the car as a reason for his long disappearances? My mind flicked back to his old management job. His hours were random, and he often had to go in at short notice. The building was open twenty-four hours a day, so it didn’t seem so far-fetched back then. When Paul was made redundant, he got the job at the restaurant. Disappearing at all hours would have looked suspicious. That’s when he bought the car. I connected the dots and created a picture of my serial-killer fiancé.

I tried to focus as I continued to look around the garage. I searched the interior of the car, with my head inside the vehicle and the rest of me outside it. If Paul was able to see me and he decided to go to the garage, the sight would freak him out. The made me smile, until I spotted a red basque in the back seat. I couldn’t pick the thing up, despite trying to levitate it with my mind, but it seemed small. It might fit a size six (or an eight at the most) but not me, a size ten. Paul knew my size and the only clothing he ever bought me were t-shirts on my birthday; the ones with stupid slogans on. I recalled one that said Hot Stuff. Don’t Touch. I only ever wore it in winter, under a cardigan. He never bought me anything else wearable. The basque couldn’t have been a surprise for me. I wouldn’t have worn it if it was, even in my size.

I questioned whether the lingerie might be a trophy from one of his victims, aware that some killers like to keep something as a reminder. They also manage to come across as normal to their friends and family. It was possible that Paul had fooled me along with everyone else. Paul slept upstairs in the house, with my sister. The woman who kept something going with him while he was with me; my sister who had started a relationship with him when I went to university while I remained single, hoping we would get back together after I graduated. My sister, despite all of that. I shouldn’t leave her to be murdered too.

23. Jul, 2019

“How long will he be gone?” His eyes darted around, reminding me of the stickers I used to get at the dentist, usually an animal of some sort with wobbly eyes. I wasn’t sure if he felt nervous about Tim returning, or the chance of someone noticing him standing in the street talking to himself.

“I’m a ghost, not a psychic,” I pointed out, then passed through the locked door.

It took me a few attempts to unlock it for Steve, but I managed.

“Did you bring gloves?” I asked.

“Do I really need these?” he complained, putting on a pair of disposable gloves – like the ones you get when you buy a box of hair dye.

“The last thing we need is for you to get your fingerprints on anything,” I told him. “Don’t you watch crime thrillers?”

“I prefer comedies. My life is more of a rom-com, without the rom…or the com.” Steve replied. He walked through me in his haste to get the breaking and entering over with. “Where do you want me to start?”

It occurred to me that Tim might have taken his driving license with him in his wallet. Although, it’s possible he was wary of anyone getting hold of it after losing it once already. His use of false names proved he didn’t want anyone to know his true identity. He may have planned to do something long before he killed me, even if it wasn’t murder.

“Well?” Steve persisted.

“Ssh, I’m trying to think like a sick creep with a fetish for hurting women.”

“And, how’s that going?”

“Well, obviously I’m not a sick creep, so it’s a work-in-progress.” I paused before saying, “If I was him, I wouldn’t take anything with me that could identify me to potential victims. I wouldn’t throw everything away though. People always need I.D for all kinds of reasons. Instead, I would hide it.”

“That’s all very interesting Inspector Casper, but where would you hide it?”

I ignored his new sarcastic name for me. People probably called me worse things when I was alive, despite me never realising it at the time.

I walked up the stairs. Steve followed until we reached Tim’s bedroom. He stopped to stare at the newspaper on Tim’s bed. The image of me smiling (obviously during happier times) was unrecognisable because of the mess Tim had made.

“What’s that?” Steve asked, reaching down to pick up the paper.

I assumed he meant the stains obscuring most of the article.

“You don’t want to touch that,” I warned.

Steve looked at me as if waiting for an explanation, before screwing up his face.

“Eugh!” He pulled his hand back and leapt away as if it might launch itself off the newspaper and physically attack him. That in itself would be a front-page news story.